Discover Kristina's battle with anxiety and how it lead her to hypnotherapy. Kristina's compelling personal narrative explores the powerful healing tool of hypnotherapy, and how it can turn anxiety into empowerment.
Even Therapists Can Have Anxiety
The first time I went to see a therapist, depressed, fearful and lost at 21 years young, I was told I had an anxiety disorder and that I was always going to struggle with anxiety.
Looking back, I am sure the therapist meant: "anxiety is a feeling that we all experience from time to time, and the sooner you understand that, the less you will struggle". But at the time that was not what I heard.
I heard: "you are going to feel this way for the rest of your life". And I was devastated.
I spent the next five years doing everything I could to avoid feeling anxious (in reality, trying to feel less). Which meant working too much, drinking too much, and NEVER being alone... But, if you’ve ever tried to work (or drink or busy) your way out of a feeling, you’ll know it’s less than successful.
Trying to Cope with Anxiety
A few years later, I found yoga and mediation. When I was committed and practicing daily, I could begin to feel the claws of anxiety release their grip on me. However, I had to do SO MUCH to taste a bit of reprieve, and even once I felt that relief, it was fleeting.
I was fighting so hard for peace (which is, of course, very counterproductive). I was doing everything "right", but still felt like I was failing. I couldn't understand why I was unable to get control of my anxiety.
I had good coping skills and was confident in my ability to white-knuckle through any situation thrown my way. But it was painful trying to constantly push through it, and whenever my life got stressful, the anxiety would get stronger and stronger.
As I got older, I did what most people do - I lived with my anxiety and tried not to let it eat me up. I saw several mental health professionals, including naturopaths, energy healers, and even a drum circle or two. I spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars trying to feel better… In hindsight, trying to feel less.
Some things helped temporarily (like yoga and meditation), but nothing really worked to get rid of that nagging anxious feeling that always seemed to be at the back of my mind.
When Everything Fell Apart
When my daughter was born, after years of fertility struggles and the stillbirth of my first son, I started to fall apart. She was born in December 2019, just three months before the pandemic, and the anxiety was unbearable.
I would stare at the baby monitor for hours every night, sacrificing my sleep and whatever I had left of my mental health, just to make sure she was breathing. During this time, my anxiety was near constant: a feeling I carried around with me wherever I went.
I still mourn the moments that I missed with my newborn daughter because I was so busy battling my anxiety. When you experience the feeling of anxiety, you’re living in the future - constantly worrying about what might happen, while missing the gift of the present moment.
I was desperate to slow time down, to be more present, and to absorb every moment of being a new mother. Like so many of my clients, it was this desperation that led me to hypnotherapy.
A Surprising Result From Hypnotherapy
Truth be told, my first experience with hypnotherapy was not so great. My expectations were way off. I expected to lose control, so I held on as tightly as I could by preventing myself from trusting and relaxing into the process. But the hypnotherapist was patient, kind and compassionate. She supported my process and I stuck with it. After just a few sessions I was sleeping better and experiencing more moments of ease throughout the day.
What surprised me is that even healing from something like chronic anxiety can feel natural. So natural you might even miss it.
I never had any crazy insight during my hypnosis sessions. I didn’t come out of trance feeling like a new person. It wasn’t like some switch turned anxiety off for me. In fact, my husband noticed it first. He mentioned that I seemed calmer and less worried. It was like I forgot. I forgot how bad things were or how bad they could be.
I was still a new mom, and I still worried, but the worry no longer consumed me. And that was it - even though I almost didn't even notice it, I had experienced a profound transformation in my mental state.
What Everyone Should Know About Hypnotherapy
I’ve learned so much about anxiety and hypnotherapy since then. By accessing my subconscious mind, hypnotherapy was able to help me break past the internal barriers that were holding me back at the deepest level. For me, the key was to relax into the process. I had to stop trying to "fight for peace", while trusting in the fact that I had everything within myself that I needed to be able to heal.
After experiencing the healing potential of hypnotherapy for myself, I decided to train as a Clinical Hypnotherapist. Ever since then I have dedicated myself to helping others find the same relief and transformation that I did.
I am no longer scared of the feeling of anxiety. I still experience it (I'm still human after all). But it has loosened its grip on me and it doesn’t have so much meaning or weight anymore. It’s almost boring. Imagine that.
If you would like to learn more about how hypnotherapy could help you, check out my Online & In-Person Hypnotherapy Services, or book in for a Free Hypnotherapy Consultation and I would be happy to answer all your questions.